Dealing with the loss of a loved one

Talking about death or a loss of someone who you loved is a sensitive and often a no go subject to talk about. As most of you will know  by now my life hasn't be quite the same recently I've experienced three great losses within months of each other, the death of my Grandad and Nan from cancer and my wonderful Grandad. Death is unfortunately something we face every single day, but often there is that detached feeling seeing something that isn't happening to you. When it’s someone  your close to it’s often harder to comprehend. Grief isn't simple.

As someone who’s currently dealing with loss, I thought I’d share my personal experience of how I coped with these 3 completely different deaths. Now I know I have already done a post explaining why I was away as I went into details of how my grandparents passed away, therefore I am not going to go into detail on this post I am just basically going to talk about how I coped with these deaths and what I did to make the situation less upsetting(if you can even call it that).

When my Nan passes away I was in complete shock even though we had all been told that she was getting to her last few weeks, I didn't quite understand why I was so shocked as we had been told I guess it just didn't sink in until it actually happened. For the first few weeks I was ok with it I didn't seem to cry much until reality sunk in and the realization of not seeing her again set in. I didn't really deal with my Nans death great as I took to blocking everything out by this I mean I blocked my friends and family out locking myself away from the world this was my way of dealing with it or that is what I thought at the time. It wasn't a good way to deal with anything my mum became concerned about me so made me see my GP it was then that we found out that I was actually suffering from depression.

This wasn't easy but the way I got through these moments was by knowing that I had some amazing people around me, day in day out I just listened to music which helped to liven up my day a little.
It got to the point where I just lost all motivation for everything in life really this lead to me giving up on my apprenticeship. which when I look at it now was a bad move as I am now looking for anther job but at the time it seemed the right thing to do as I just wasn't happy there anymore.

So when it then came to both of my Grandads passing I knew I didn't and just wouldn't go back to how I was when my Nan passed I wasn't going to let myself do that again. Therefore these two times were a lot different I managed to stay strong yes I do have days where I just don't want to do anything and just cry but doesn't everyone.

I got by these moments by knowing that it is ok not to be your self the whole time its ok to be sad sometimes and most of all even though I had lost the people that I loved the most and who had done a hell of a lot to me yes they may not be here in reality but they are and will always be in your heart and be here spiritually.

I am actually proud of the fact that I was strong enough to do a reading at my Grandads reading along with my two cousins Katie and Laura I didn't have to do this but I felt like I owed my Grandad that as he had done so much for me and well all of his family really. Im just so glad that I can look back of that horrible but peaceful day and say that we all did our Grandad proud by sticking together being supportive of each other.

I feel that I coped a lot better with the second two deaths as I had previously experienced it so I kinda knew what to expect. I went to say my last goodbye to my Grandad a few days before his funeral this was the most heartbreaking time however he looked so peaceful just like he was sleeping. Bless him!!
It was then when we was in the funeral  room I see a sign which stated

"Everyday we will celebrate live your life in our hearts We will remember our times together with happiness"

This really touched me as it make things seem more real, I took note of this quote and read it a few times which now looking at it I can actually see the truth in it as I now know that what ever I do these amazing people that I have lost are not that lost after all as they will always be with me in some way or another. At the time I couldn't see this as I was grieving.

The things I did to help myself cope: 

• I listened to music a lot more than normal I found this comforting 
• I basically just kept myself busy
• I started reading again ( now if you know me you will know I hate reading)
• Crying when I needed to ( it does you good to just let it out and go when you need to don't try and block it out and hold back because it just makes it worse)
• I found it helped a lot by talking openly about what has happened
• I looked back on memories by making my Nan a memory book 
• Took time out when I needed 
• But most of all I hung out with friends and family a lot more (I found it helped to know that I had these people around me at this time)

These are just some of the things I did that helped me cope and deal with the loss of loved ones this may not help everyone but this helped me. Therefore I thought if I could share my experience and tips with you guys it might just come in handy and help one of you guys. Just remember it is ok to be sad sometimes.  I love you guys and will see you next week. as Louis Cole would say  "Enjoy life live the adventure peace out" 

 AmyRose x