I'm Back-Why iv been away so long

Hey guys so I know I haven't blogged in a while this is mainly due to the fact that my whole life has been thrown all over the place. Meaning that the last few months have been the hardest for me. So a few months back in October my Nan Sadly passed away from the horrid illness of Cancer on the 31st October 2013 , this was a horrible time for me as I had never lost anyone close before so when this happened it really hit me hard. During this time my Mum also fell ill and ended  up in intensive care in hospital it got so bad that I thought I was going to lose my mum as well as my Nan and I knew I couldn't handle that. About a month after the funeral of my Nan my mum was well enough to come home just in time for Christmas, Christmas wasn't that great but at least I still had my mum home with us.

 Above: My Nan Rose in her lovely royal blue suit she wore at my Mum and dads wedding(RIP NAN Really miss you)

Shortly after this I started to become really down and ended up suffering with depression for  a few months. This was where I was greithing over the loss of my Nan which I never thought I would be as bad as we wasn't as close as I was to my other grandparents. However I locked myself away from everyone putting on a brave face saying I was ok when really all I ever wanted to do was stay in bed all day and just cry. During this time I went through a stage of questioning if this was normal? was I being normal? What was wrong with me? I knew I wasn't my normal self but didn't know what to do about it. As shutting my friends out and even my cousin Katie was definitely not me therefore I knew that something needed to be done therefore I see my local GP and was told I needed some Counselling session to talk to someone that can help and know how to deal with depression. What I didn't know was the worst was still to come.

My Grandad on the same side as my Nan (who had passed away) found out he also had Cancer however he was told his was treatable so over the next few months he went for radio therapy which at the end of it we was told it had done the job and shrunk the Cancer which was good news however my life wasn't that easy as during this time his Cancer has come back but more aggressive and unfortunately was untreatable   as the Cancer just spread and got more aggressive as it did so. It ended up getting to the point where he could no longer fight for his life and lost the battle to the horrible illness of Cancer on the 17th July 2014.

 Above: My Grandad Terry doing what he loved the most fishing (RIP Grandad Gunna miss fishing with u)

During the time where my grandad was referred to hospital for the Cancer to be treated my world started to fall apart once again as my other grandad became really ill I mean he had been ill for about 5 years with Alzheimer's and Dementia however he became worse and worse and we sadly lost him on the 23rd June 2014. I think this was the hardest time for just for the simple reason we was so close , he wasn't like a normal grandad to me he was more like my hero and my best friend all in one and always will be.

Above: Me and My grandad Alan-My Hero (missing you like mad gramps RIP Gramps)

I now feel like its time for me to just turn my life away as over the last few months I have noticed and learnt the hard way that life doesn't mean anything anymore. You Have to just follow your dreams and live your life like everyday as if is your last. Therefore I am back and feel more confident and stronger as a person than I ever did.

AmyRose x